Breathe
by TerrorizerandZooky
Summary: Harry Potter is swept up into the adventures of the Star Gate team as they search for the lost object that will save the universe. Is it fate or is it destiny?


Disclaimer: We are sorry but the urge to write a great story suddenly struck us!

The area around them seemed mysterious and unfamiliar. The wind felt different on their bare arms. The alien planet looked just that, alien. Everything around them was different from Earth, the trees had purple bark with neon pink leaves, the grass was a very light shade of blue, and the rabbits that they saw nearby were not nibbling on the grass but on the carcass of a male human.

Except it was not a human corpse on closer examination it had seventeen fingers and purple teeth. In the few places not being attacked by rabbits large masses of slimy maggots withered in the overcrowded space. Large oink birds with lice crawling upon them circled lazily overhead.

"Oh what the hell is that?" screamed Felipe.

The rest seemed bored by the "creatures" and did not bother to reply. They really should have been a little curious and perhaps worried about what had killed the dead being, but their egos had grown much too large to fit their little heads and so they believed that nothing unfortunate could befall the great defenders of Earth.

So they all decided to play bop-it. The really tall one on the end pulled out an extreme bop and started it and they all stood around bopping it for a really long time. Then out of nowhere a loud roar was heard and a giant bird …no…plane… spider…no thing…yes thing feel out of the sky and grabbed the bop it. They all stood around dumbstruck…

"Well that was about the weirdest fucking creature I've ever seen!"

"Um, sir, I don't see Felipe."

"Who cares about Felipe! Just because he knocked you up doesn't mean we all gotta like the guy! Now let's go get that damn bird so we can get back our bloody bop-it!"

Everyone then disappeared in what was once a bright flash of white light but then turned into a kind of greenish-yellowish light because someone puked as the light appeared.

"Why they hell can't you preggers women hold your damn mouths shut! You ruined my new pink underwear!"

The entire crew looked at their uber macho leader in a weird, slightly afraid way.

"Felipe didn't knock me up, Colonel, you did. Remember you told me I would get a promotion but no all I get is twenty pounds fatter."

"Who the hell cares let's go find our bop-it."

They all fell out of the puke infused light and onto a very large moving ladybug. You see the bright light was the light from a shrink ray. Jonas (the new Daniel, so everyone called him Daniel) accidentally fired the ray off while he was playing with the gun in his pocket. Everyone just thought he was doing . . . other things so they didn't tell him to be careful.

After tweaking the ray they managed to get back to their regular sizes except for Sam because she was still the size of a whale but looked more like a walrus. Jack also seemed a tad _smaller_ in certain areas, but no one said anything for fear that he would shoot them like he obviously shot Felipe.

Before the team to even try to get back their bop-it Harry Potter showed up.

"Hey I know you! You're that group of people from Sun Entry. I so totally wanted to knock up that guy Felipe!"

"Go away we're playing bop-it!"

"I'll hex your asses!"

"So at least we can play bop-it in peace!"

"Can I play?"

"Only if you can bop-it."

"I can."

They all stood around bopping it and twisting it and a few of the guys were pulling it behind the tree thing. When a sudden flash of light fell out of the sky and Felipe suddenly stepped out and ran towards Sam.

"Hey Felipe can I bop it with you?" Henry Potter cried out.

"Of course" Felipe cried and grabbed the Bop-it from Sam.

"Hey, I was bopping it!"

"Yeah, let Sam bop it!" Said Jack who obviously liked the way Sam bopped it. He had seen her bop it before but this time was special.

Harold Potter then turned both Sam and Jack into flying weasels!

"Hey if you don't undo them I'll never play with you again." Felipe yelled.

"All right," Harry grumbled as he turned them back into their normal shapes. Sam instantly drug Jack off behind a bush to play bop-it some more.

"Great now they have our only bop-it. What should be do now?"

"Someone should build another one out of gum and paper clips."

"McGyver is not on this show you freaking moron. Did the transvestite who cannot be named fry your freaking brain."

"Hey everybody, it is I, MacGyver! I have come to save the day!"

Then superman appeared for some unknown reason.

Jack quickly zipped up his . . . bop-it and ran to greet superman because he secretly hated MacGyver and paper clips but that's another story.

Ok everybody that's all for now. If you guys think it's pimp and drop some reviews we might add part 2 of the 79 chapters that will be part of this wondrous saga of Harry Potter and Star Gate. Until next time!


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